Side Nonsense
by MerenwenShili-Dwelf of Lorien
Summary: After awhile, I found that people read the first couple chapters of "Watch Out M.E." and declared it crap. So I took them out. But how am I to delete perfectly good chapters? THE MISSING CHAPTERS!
1. Orcs, Keys, and a Singalong!

Disclaimer: Don't own my friends, or LOTR. And I don't own Bohemian Rhapsody...That would belong to Queen. I don't own POTC either. Good enough? Better be...

**Side Nonsense**

****

*THUMP*

'GAH!! I knew I shouldn't have mocked that orc...' Merenwen thought to herself as she found herself in a small clearing, with an orc charging at her.  His blade swooped to her side, however she managed to jump over it. 'I knew jumping rope as a girl would somehow help me in the future.' She thought. "HA!" Merenwen laughed at his inability to strike her. 

"RAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" He growled as he swung his scimitar. He managed to graze his target.

"GAH! THAT WAS MY LEG!! _Llie__ n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina_!!!! Are you trying to SKIN me?? Or kill me here?!" She teased. "Now you're gonna get it!!!"

Elvish Subtitles – You're ugly, and your mother dresses you funny.

But before she could go all _Aragorn_ on the orc, she saw Arallahmenorah, sitting on a large stone, watching her battle. "Are..*dodge* you... *swish/clang*...just...*dodge/strike*...gonna...*strike*...SIT THERE?! _TUA AMIN_!"

E.S – HELP ME!

"Awwwwww......I don't wanna help! I'm quite comfortable sitting here. But if you say so..." She leaped from her stone, whipped out her daggers, and began ferociously began swipping at the orc. 

"AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The orc ran away...limping.

"Jeeze, I said to help me, not cripple the darn thing."

"Well, ya shoulda been more specific!!" replied Arallahmenorah.

"Hmm...I s'pose so. Any ways, Whatdaya say we go to my house?" 

"I say...*eyes light up*...*eyes dulled and she looks to the ground*...what was the question??"

"Me! You! My place! Wanna go?" Merenwen said.

"Sure! I haven't been to there in awhile."

"_Iire_?" Merenwen asked.

E.S – Where?

"_Aiya__, amin feuya ten'lle_. " Arallahmenorah grabbed Merenwen's wrist and began to pull her down the path.

E.S – Oh, you disgust me. 

"_Sii__' tanya awra_." Merenwen said as they were walking.

E.S – Now that hurt.

"_Hiraetha_." Arallahmenorah said.

E.S – Sorry.

They soon reached Merenwen's tree. Merenwen doesn't have a _house_, she has a _tree._ Her tree is quite wide, and hollow, she literally lives in a tree. Her house overlooks Anduin. They climb up a set of stairs that had been carved into the outside of the tree. They reach the door, and find that it's already open.

"You guys!!" Merenwen says as she finds Ereon, Radiion, and D'elph at her house...watching POTC. 

"Hey you're home!!" Ereon jumped up off the couch. 

"Where'd ya go?" asked Radiion.

"She went and got into a fight with yet another orc." Explained Arallahmenorah.

"But he started it!!" Merenwen proceeded to whine.

"No, he didn't!!" Arallahmenorah argued.

"How long were you watching me exactly??"

"Long enough to see you throwing pebbles at the orc, and calling him a _nadorhuan._"

E.S – Cowardly dog

"Oh...well then."

"Hey how come she gets to fight all the orcs???" asked D'elph.

"Because...I can." Replied Merenwen, calmly.

"Well so can I you know!!"

"No you can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

"So? Since when do I listen do you??"

"Since never, but you gotta start sometime."

"DROP IT!!!" shouted everyone else in the room. 

"So how'd ya'll get in?? I thought I locked the door..." said Merenwen.

"Well...Legolas took it upon himself to make copies of your house key...so we'd all leave him alone, and hang at your house." Explained Radiion. Everyone held out they're copies. Merenwen turns and looks at Arallahmenorah. "Did you get one too??" 

She looks at the ground sadly. "No..."

Ereon pulls a key at of her pocket. The key was engraved with the words "Arallahmenorah's Merenwen's Place Key". As a matter of fact, everyone's key was personalized with their names on them. Ereon hands Arallahmenorah her key.

"Yippee!!!" she dances around with her key. 

Just then Mellaquiimm burst through the door. "DUDES! I HAVE NOT HAD A GOOD DAY!!!" She walks in, kicks off her boots, walks into the kitchen. You hear the refrigerator open, then close, and the sound of someone opening a can of soda. She comes back out with some orange soda, and she plops on the couch.

"Ok, I was riding up from Rohan. Eomer's away at some battle. And I run into my army of evil squirrels. So I was like 'MY MINIONS!!!' and they all stood at attention, which was pretty cool. But anyhow, the #1 nut man goes up to me, and he's all 'chip chip chip chip' and I'm 'SPEAK ENGLISH MAN!!...squirrel...whatever!' so he's like 'We're going on vacation. Shire! Here we come!!' and then they all ran off. As if this wasn't enough, I lost my favorite shoe in the Field of Celebrant! I loved that shoe...AND I dropped my CD player!!! I was listening to Queen...and now I've got Bohemian Rhapsody stuck in my head and there's no way to get it out!!!"

"Oh yes there is!!" Ereon threw a microphone at D'elph, who was half asleep from Mellaquiimm's story. 

"Huh?" he asked sleepily.

"We're singing Bohemian Rhapsody!! And you're leadin'!" yelled Ereon. The lights fade out, and everyone goes and stands on a stage that just magically appeared there. In darkness...

"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a land slide. No escape from reality. Open your eyes. Look up to the skies and see. I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy. Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low. Anyway the wind blows doesn't really matter to me."

 A spot light shines on D'elph as he begins singing solo... "To me..."

"Mama...just killed a man...." he goes on singing, with everyone backing him up.


	2. Ereon's Lesson

Disclaimer: Gah...stupid disclaimers. I don't own LOTR, nor do I own any of my friends. Got that everyone? 

**Side Nonsense!!!**

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Everyone had slept over Merenwen's house that night. One by one the members of our group started to awake. Someone left the television on....

"In other news, an army of evil squirrels has kidnapped several locals, and they are holding them hostage in the Prancing Pony. We are now approaching the 9th hour of this standoff...."

Mellaquiimm watched the TV in disgust.

"We weren't supposed to do that until next week! How dare him!!" she continued hollering at the TV. 

Merenwen entered the kitchen, to find Ereon and D'elph in deep discussion...over who is cooking breakfast. 

"I don't cook." D'elph stated plainly.

"Like I do?!" Ereon argued.

"Well, I don't want anyone to DIE today." D'elph said.

"Today?? I cook, and we all die a slow and painful death from who knows what disease!" she shouts.

"Dudes, I'll cook." Merenwen butted in.

"Alright." D'elph and Ereon said together, and then left the room together.

Meanwhile Radiion and Arallahmenorah are off in the yard, swinging off a rope into the Anduin.

D'elph sees them through the window, and he calls out. "Isn't the water cold?! And besides, it's morning!!"

Radiion yells back as water drips down her. "For one thing, BE A MAN! ...elf. Whatever! The water isn't _that _cold. As for it still being morning, it's 1 in the afternoon! We slept in all morning."

Arallahmenorah pushes Radiion back into the river.

"EAT TIME EVERYBODY!!" Merenwen shouted at the top of her voice. The room began to tremble as everyone ran into the dining room.

Merenwen had concocted some eggs, sausage, and hash browns.

The group sat at the circular dining room table. 

"Shili these eggs are a little moist..." Arallahmenorah started.

"Maybe it's because your hair is dripping onto your plate." Merenwen answered her.

"Ahhh...I gotcha." Radiion gets up from her chair, runs upstairs, and got a couple towels. Obviously she was suffering from the same predicament as Arallahmenorah.

Radiion throws the towel at her.

"Hey, Ereon...where's Frodo?" D'elph inquired.

"Who knows, who cares? I'm _only _married to the dude, it's not like I love him or anything."

At this everyone started laughing, everyone except for D'elph who looked extremely dumbfounded. 

"Yes I know, it's kind of sad. His girlfriend is pretty nice though." Ereon said as if there was nothing wrong with that.

Mellaquiimm stood up. "Girlfriend?! Ereon, he's MARRIED...TO YOU!"

"You know when you check a guys hand at bars for a ring??" Radiion asked.

"Yep!! Ring = Bad, No Ring = Good...what about it?" she answered. 

"Let me explain. When a dude is wearing a ring, it's because he's married! And that's bad! Then you can't flirt with him." Said Merenwen.

"OOOOOOOOOOH! But you guys! Frodo got ride of The Ring a long time ago! Remember??" Ereon protested.

"No no, not that ring. When you two were married you should both have gotten rings, to symbolize your marriage. See?? You're wearing yours!" Mellaquiimm explained.

"So THAT'S why this one dude complimented me on my ring the other day and he seemed really interested...but then I said it was from the wedding, and he said he had to go...*tear*" cried Ereon. "That's it I'm takin' it off!!"

"You can't do that!" Shouted Arallahmenorah. "It's against *looks from side to side to see if anyone is listening in on their conversation* _the rules." _

"o0o0o0o....._the rules" _said every else. 

That was the end of that conversation. 

"Ok peeps, I'm going out on the river." Merenwen said as she dumped her plate into the kitchen sink.

"Gah....again??" said D'elph. "What do you do all day in that canoe of yours???"

"The world may never know." Arallahmenorah said. 

"I see...no, wait. I don't see. I'm coming with you!!" D'elph said.

"Heyyy, I wanna go!" said Ereon.

"No...I wanna go!" said Mellaquiimm. 

"I'M GOING BY MAHSELF!!!" she said as she stormed out of her house, jumped into her canoe and went off.

"LET"S FOLLOW HER!!!!!" everyone shouted, and they all jumped up and headed out. 

They pursued Merenwen to an old cottage, in the Field of Celebrant.

"I don't think I saw this riding up yesterday. I guess I was just too preoccupied with the loss of my boot, and the dropping of my CD player..." Mellaquiimm muttered to herself. 

Merenwen went inside said cottage, and everyone else was obliged to peer through a window. What they saw next they couldn't believe. 

(A/N what if I were to end the chapter right here??? I actually thought of doing that, but that would make this chapter kind of short) 

Merenwen was inside with....HER LOVER.

Everyone one gasps. Ereon began laughing hysterically, and Mellaquiimm shot Merenwen a look of shame; however Merenwen didn't see her...yet.

Inside, Merenwen sat talking to a figure, from the angle they were looking at, they could not tell who, or what he was.

Then, she heard Ereon's cackling outside the window. 

"Hold on a sec..." she walks over to the window and opens it. Everyone looks at Merenwen.

"Shili! What a surprise! Imagine seeing you here." Said Arallahmenorah.

"What are you talking about we followed her here." D'elph said to her.

"You guys!!!" Merenwen said.

Merenwen gets everyone inside the cottage. The Merenwen's mysterious lover had quickly left the cottage, without so much as an introduction.

"Gah...I can't believe you guys followed meee!" Merenwen whined.

"Well, you wouldn't let me come! What else were we gonna do with our day??" D'elph said.

"I don't know! Something productive???" she suggested.

"Wouldn't you call this productive?? Finding out one of the gang has a lover, and not tellin' us about him....tisk tisk Shili!!" D'elph waved his finger at Merenwen.

Merenwen sighs, and sits down. This is her way of admitting defeat.

"So who was the dude??" Ereon asked excitedly.

END.

A/N MWA HA HA HA HA!!! Hope ya'll liked this one. I really didn't know what to write about though. One thing lead to another...and then I just ran outta juice hahaha. The juice I needed to tell who the dude was!!! Hahaha. Reviews make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!!!


	3. Gwindor

Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR!!!

**Side Nonsense**

****

Merenwen really doesn't like to be put on the spot...

"Well...uh..he's just...I..."she studdered.

" TELL US NOW!!!" they all demanded.

"FINE!!! HIS NAME IS GWINDOR!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! HUH?! ARE YA?!" she bursted.

Everyone silently nods their heads in satisfaction.

Arallahmenorah, being the curious elf she is...felt the need for more interrogating. 

"...Where'dja meet him?"

"Well, you know that hybrid class I was telling D'elph about? I meet him there. He's half man half elf. A malf, if you will." Merenwen explained.

"Right. More hybrids." Mellaquiimm said.

"There is nothing wrong with being a hybrid! Hybrids are special! Hybrids are special!!" Merenwen and D'elph say together, in a chant they learned at the class.

"Yes, you's are "special" alright..." Radiion said. 

"*cough*ED!*cough*" said Ereon.

"Hey! Now I wouldn't be talkin' if I were you!!!" Merenwen.

"Now what on Middle Earth do you mean?!" Ereon said, shocked.

"What she's trying to say is, neither of you are the brightest crayons in the crayon box." said Mellaquiimm.

"ARE YOU CALLING US CRAYONS NOW?!" shouted Ereon.

"Hey hey hey, I still wanna know more about this Gwindor dude." Said D'elph.

"Well, he comes from Mirkwood, but one time he was going to Gondor, and he just stayed here. He built himself a cabin and what not.  Actually, truth be told, he's Aragorn's little brother. But of course Aragorn got all the attention." Said Merenwen.

"So from what you said Shili, this dude sounds like he's got some ISSUES." Radiion deducted.

"Yeah...he really wasn't hugged enough as a child." 

"Where did he go any way?" asked Arallahmenorah. 

"He's prolly sittin' out on the porch." She said simply.

Everyone runs to the front door, to see a cloaked figure, sitting on the porch step.

"HI GWINDOR!!" everyone shouted, with the exception of Merenwen. Gwindor, quite startled, jumped up, whipped out his sword, and stood in a full fighting mood stance in front of them. Gwindor was about as tall as D'elph, and he had dark hair, very similar to Aragorn's. At this threat, everyone ('cept Shili again), produced their own choice arms.

"Dudes...chill." said Merenwen.

Everyone looks around at each other, then they slowly put away their weapons.

"Everyone, Gwindor. Gwindor, everyone." She introduced them.

"HEY I'M EREON, YOU'RE HOTTER THAN ARAGORN!!! Oops. Did I say that out loud?! HA." Ereon jumped and said. Gwindor blushed. 

"Er...thanks." he said, somewhat shyly.

"So you guys are like...together?" Ereon asked.

Merenwen and Gwindor exchange odd expressions...

"NO!!"

"WAIT A SEC! Then what's with all the secrecy? and all the "lover" talk in the last chapter???" D'elph asked.

"I think the narrator's on something, but I have yet to pin point what." Said Merenwen quite simply.

"Oh." 

I'm not _on _anything. I'm just high on life...

"Right." Said everyone in unison.

Gwindor decided to stand up and say something.

"Look everyone, Shili is NOT my lover. She's...teaching me to fight."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" everyone laughed.

"Shili?!?! Teaching you how to FIGHT??? I'm sure you can fight much better than she can. I mean, c'mon. It's SHILI. Sure she can take a few orcs...but that's about it." Said Mellaquiimm.

Merenwen blushed immensely, along with Gwindor.

"Actually no. What you saw a minute ago...the stance...that's about all I can do. Yeah, it LOOKS threatening, but what can I say? I'm a good actor." Gwindor suddenly became a bit egotistical.

"Well this was a waste of my day..." complained D'elph.

END!

A/N Sorry this one took forever! I finally updated Mellaquiimm! This prolly isn't one of the best chapters I know, but I promise the next one will be better!!! Try reviewing! It's fun!!! 


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